Thursday, January 27, 2011

A drive home

Madeley and I have about an hour that we spend together each day, in the car. I like to look at her through rearview mirror, just to see if she's smiling, sleeping, or even giggling.


The other day, we heard the song "God Gave Me You," by Dave Barnes. I immediately thought of my sweet little Madeley! Many of you know I lost my mother about a month after I married Derrick. I found out I was pregnant just a few days before she died. I was overwhelmed with emotions. Sadness, fear, joy. It was a strange and difficult time in my life. I wanted to be excited about my new marriage and the wonderful baby on the way, but I was struggling with a broken heart. I had lost the safest, most wonderful person I had ever known. I wanted to tell her about my baby. I wanted to ask her questions about my marriage. I wanted her to make me dinner. And I wanted her to hug me tight. Nonetheless, I had to find a way to move past this dark place, because someone was going to need me like I needed my mom. Moving to a new house and preparing for Madeley actually helped me get better. And when she finally came, as tiny as she was, I was ready for her. I was able to move from sad daughter to excited mom. Now, everyone knows that being a new mom can be an emotional roller coaster, so I was up and down. Eventually, I was able to start appreciating my daughter. I am excited to see her wake up in the morning. I can't wait to pick her up after work. I absolutely love the hug she gives me before she goes to bed. Which brings us back to the song:
"God gave me you for the ups and downs, God gave me you for the days of doubt, God gave me you. For when I think I’ve lost my way, there are no words here left to say, it’s true God gave me you."
I know the Lord blessed me with Madeley because He knew I needed her. I am confident that she came at just the right time in my life. Even though I miss my mother, she taught me to be who I am now. I am proud when people tell me I look like her, when I sound like her, and even when I sing, but don't know the words. Just like she did. :)





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3 comments:

Unknown said...

Beautiful thoughts and memories shared. Thank you Morgan.

Betty said...

You write so well about your emotions and events. And, you definitely brought a smile to my face when I read about singing, but not knowing the words. Every time I do that, I think of Carol...she was the master at it. Too cute!

Catherine Anne said...

Tears Morgan! I have thought about you so much. As I saw all the life changes you were going through. Many prayers have been lifted for you here. It's wonderful to see you pulling through and knowing your blessings and path sent from God . BTW you do look like your beautiful sweet momma. Also HAPPY to see you blogging. Catherine

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