What do you do when you get stressed out? I usually cry, which I did today. I don't have a major reason, I mean who really needs one, but I definitely needed Derrick to step in and relieve me. First of all, Madeley is going through a fussy stage. She wakes up at 6:30, way too early, and only takes about a two hour nap around 9:30. This is not enough sleep for her! Then she's ready to pass out by 7, so I have to put her to bed. But 7 is really too early, which is why she's probably waking up at 6:30... very unhappy. My sweet baby is off schedule and it's making me lose my mind!! We are trying to stop the whining and the fussing, but it's just hard. I tell myself that it's a phase. It's a phase. I know I'm right. The schedule that school will bring will be good for us.
That brings us to the next subject, school. I have a lot of work to do. As I've started to do a few things in my room, I have come to the realization that I wish my mom was here. This is not a new thing, I wish my mom was here all the time. But my last experience with Sheridan High School had my mother in it... now she's not there or anywhere. I used to say I would never want to work with her. I thought she would be checking up on me, looking over my shoulder. But now, how great would it be? How great would it be to see her everyday? These are just a few things I've thought of as I've entered that building and over the past few days. I miss my mom, and it's adding to my stress. Sometimes, I just long for the relief that only my mom could give. I'm crying as I type this, and since I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, I'm going to stop now. I will say this though... when I started this blog, I promised myself that I would share exactly how I felt. I wanted to be able to share my experiences, good and bad, with others. That is what I am attempting to do now. Thanks for reading.
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4 comments:
I wondered how it would be for you at Sheridan High School without your mother being there. She was for a long time and was so loved. I believe she will be watching you from above and will be so proud of the teacher you are.
I know Madeley's fussy times are very difficult, and you feel overwhelmed about them. I don't have any advice except to say, "They, too, will pass."
Love you so much.
Thanks for sharing Morgan. There is something about back to school time that makes me really miss my Mom too. She was always so excited for the first day of school, and loved to see her bus kids after a long summer apart. I know its bitter sweet to be there without your Mom, but I know you will be an amazing teacher at SHS!
Hang in there friend!
Every mom who can remember when their kids were toddlers can identify with what you wrote, for real. And I'm sure you miss your mom. Places can evoke strong memories and tears are a good way of dealing with all that. Someone said that if God didn't mean for us to cry, He wouldn't have given us tears... Hoping the first week of school will go well.
This phase will pass with Madeley - but while you're in it it's not fun! I remember thinking we'd never sleep through the night (two years after Eli came home!) but now we do. Most of the time :) It's hard!
Wish I could give you a big hug. I hate that you're feeling so sad about your mom. She was a sweet lady and I know you miss her lots!
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