Speechless

I am a little speechless. I have nothing to say... for many reasons. Today started out normal, but it hasn't ended that way. It's not blog worthy news, I just don't know how to blog through it.

Maybe we can get on the same page if I ask you this... Have you ever felt so many emotions at once, that you don't know how to verbalized them and move on? Good or bad? There are good days that perfectly fit this description, wedding day and childbirth. Then there are bad days that fit it as well, losing my mother and receiving terrible news from a friend. On my wedding day and when Madeley came, I was filled with indescribable happiness. I am reminded of that happiness daily when I spend time with Madeley and Derrick. When my mother died, I was filled with convoluted sorrow. I don't want to be reminded of that sorrow. I want it to be an estranged feeling, but I know I can't make it through life expecting that. I guess each day offers it's own set of feelings, and we just have to decide how to handle them. Two years ago, I had never dealt with tragedy or severe heartbreak. Now I know that it can be around the next corner and appear at the most unexpected time. The happiness can too though, so we can't forget that. I think that no matter what happens, the only answer is to trust God's judgement. Know that He is supreme, and always has a plan. I have to be the best wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend/teacher I can possibly be. Letting the happiness persist and the sorrow dissolve. Without too many details, I hope you understand me.

Just as a side note, my dad is doing okay. He is still in the hospital, but getting a little bit better each day.

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Bachelor blog

First of all, every time one of those Bachelor characters said South Africa, I couldn't help but think the following...
I personally believe, as US Americans... People don't have maps... South Africa, the Iraq, everywhere like such as....
You catch my drift. It ran through my head all night.

It is an understatement to say that Brad's date with Ashley was terrrrrrible!! It was time for her to leave. And she was surprised? Now we're down to two! Derrick and I have a $50 bet going. Of course I've got Emily! Why wouldn't I? I'll let you know when I win!

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I promised an old video of Madeley tonight, so here it is...

This is the first time she ever closed her eyes for a bite. I could not figure out what she was doing! Needless to say, I eventually got used to it.

Thanks for listening to my crazy thoughts. Love you for being here.

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